When Will I See You Again
by Hotly81173
Summary: Summary: Emily leaves the BAU and her friends behind. How does Hotch deal with her saying goodbye?
1. Chapter 1

**When Will I See You Again**

**A/N: This is my take on how the season finale (season 7) and the beginning of season 8 should have gone and should go. The songs in this are Love Song and Don't You Remember both by Adele.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or the songs. The show belongs to CBS and the songs belong to Adele.**

**Summary: Emily leaves the BAU and her friends behind. How does Hotch deal with her saying goodbye?**

**Chapter 1**

Emily put the CD in her friend's hand before she lost her nerve to follow through with what she had planned.

"Emily I am so mad at you right now that I can't even see straight. I don't want you to leave again. We need you. Who is going to keep us centered? Who is going to keep us grounded?" Penelope Garcia cried to her friend.

"Oh Pen I know you are, but I just can't do this anymore. Everyone else is moving forward and I am stuck in my past. You and Kevin are going to get back together. JJ just married Will, Rossi has… well Rossi seems to have Strauss at the moment. Derek has all his little playmates for whatever night of the week he chooses. Reid has his mom and from what I hear he met someone recently. Hotch has Beth and Jack. He is moving on and who do I have to go home to at night besides Sergio?" Emily whispered lowering her head as she felt the tears begin to flow.

"Emily, give it some more time. He will realize that she is not the right one for him."

"I can't wait Pen; it hurts too much to see him every day and not be able to… Please just do this for me. Wait and see if he asks me to dance and if he does just play this song. Please." Emily said as she looked at Penelope sadly.

"Oh Emily please don't do this to yourself. It doesn't have to be this way. I know if you would just tell him he would want to be with you." Penelope said as she pulled Emily into a hug.

"I can't do that to him Pen. He deserves to be happy with her and I won't stand in the way of that. No matter how much I love him." Emily was quiet, broken in defeat.

"Oh sweetie, I just want you to be happy that's all and if you think leaving will bring you happiness then all I can say is that… I am so gonna miss you."

"So you will play this for me if Hotch asks me to dance?"

"Of course I will. But you have to promise me to not forget about us and to keep in contact. You have to pinky-swear to call me at least twice a week."

"Deal; as if I could ever forget any of you." Emily said as she laughed and wrapped her pinky around her friend's before hugging her again.

There she was being swung around the makeshift dance floor by Dave and all she could think about was the man on the other side of the floor dancing with Beth. She had nothing against the woman, really she didn't. She could have been friends with her if it weren't for the fact that she was in love with the man she was now dancing with. She had something Emily would never have. She had Aaron Hotchner and that was the reason she could never be friends with her. That was why she had to leave. Was she going to take Clyde's offer? Probably not. All she knew was that she couldn't stay and watch the man she loved be happy with someone else. It was hard enough when he wasn't dating; but now that he was dating Beth, it was just too difficult to be around him. Hearing him talk to Dave about the other brunette was like a knife to her heart. She knew it was unintentional on Hotch's part, but that didn't change the fact that it hurt. It hurt like hell to see him in the office every day and know he was happy. She was happy for him that was she wanted for him.

"Penny for your thoughts." Rossi whispered in her ear as he twirled her around.

"Just thinking that's all." She said quietly.

"You know she's just a step to where he is going." Rossi said looking into Emily's eyes.

"What are talking about Dave?" Emily asked the older man.

"Beth, she is she is just a stepping stone. He needed this to make him realize what has been in front of him the whole time," he said smiling at her with a crooked grin.

"I'm leaving Dave." Emily whispered in his ear.

"I know and I know why. I knew it was coming; but remember what I said, this is just a step he needed to take. So don't give up on him yet. Okay?"

"I'll remember." She said as Dave felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see who was interrupting their dance.

"Mind if I cut in old man? It's not nice to monopolize Emily's time Dave," Hotch said as he pulled Emily away from Dave.

All Emily wanted was to melt against the man who held her. His hand was resting on her lower back while the other was holding her hand. What started out as proper dance form transformed into something more intimate as he pulled her a little closer and brought their hands closer; holding her hand against his chest. Her other hand rested on his shoulder until unconsciously she moved it to wrap around his neck slightly.

The song that had been playing ended and Hotch began to pull away until Emily stopped him with a squeeze to the hand that was holding hers.

"One more dance? Please?" she said as the song she wanted Penelope to play started and he nodded pulling her closer to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you ****hot4booth** **for being my beta for the first chapter. You're a doll and you always make me smile. You're the best *kisses*. Sorry I had to go back and edit the lyrics out of this to follow the guidelines on FF. Sorry about that.  
**

** Chapter 2**

The song that had been playing ended and Hotch began to pull away until Emily stopped him with a squeeze to the hand that was holding hers.

"One more dance? Please?" she said as the song she wanted Penelope to play started and he nodded pulling her closer to him.

The melody was soft and flowing through the night air as he felt her relax a little against him. He had seen her give Penelope the CD earlier and had wondered why. The song that was playing was 'Lovesong' by Adele.

Hotch listened to the words; wondering what was so special about this song for her. What was she trying to tell him?

Emily moved closer to him as they swayed back and forth. Their feet barely moving now as the song wafted around them. She leaned in to him more and could feel his breath on her neck. She closed her eyes to try and stop the tears from falling.

Could it be possible? He thought as the words caught him by surprise. Was that what she was trying to tell him? He never thought about her having feelings other than friendship for him.

He had never thought it a possibility. Of course he had fantasized about her before. What man wouldn't? She was beautiful, sweet, kind, smart and loyal to a fault. His hand that was around her waist moved lower to rest on her lower back; his fingers splayed across the top curve of her ass. He had to bite back the moan building in his chest as she moved against him to the music.

Emily could hear the wheels turning in his head as they danced. Did he understand what she was trying to tell him? Well, without actually saying the words out loud. She slid her fingers across his neck gently and she heard his breath hitch against her ear. He could feel her heart beating against his chest. It was fast and strong and he knew it mirrored his own.

Emily looked up at Hotch and he could see the tears in her eyes. Before he could say anything Emily leaned up and kissed Hotch on the corner of his mouth and then turned and ran toward the house.

Hotch turned around to find Beth staring at him from the side of the dance floor. He could tell she saw what had happened. Could she see what he was feeling on his face? God he hoped not. He was torn between staying here with a woman who had been nothing but kind to him; or running after the woman who had stolen his heart years ago.

Hotch turned and ran in the direction Emily had gone. He made it through the house and out the front door and he saw her tail lights going through the front gate.

"Damn," he said as he watched the tail lights disappear in the distance.

Hotch turned to go back in to the house and found Dave standing in the doorway.

"So are you going after her?" Dave asked.

"No. I can't just run off and leave my date and Jack here. She is supposed to meet me in the morning; she said that she needed to talk to me."

"Aaron let me give you a word of advice. Stop wasting time and wake up and take a good look around. What do you see for your future? Don't be like me and waste your time on the one you know has no place in it."

"Dave you are the one who told me to get back out there. You said it was like riding a bike." Hotch said as he squared off his shoulders in front of his friend.

"Don't go getting all defensive on me Aaron. I wanted you see that you were ready to get back out there. You needed to date someone to feel comfortable with it again. You needed to do that so you would realize that what you want has been in front of you this whole time. Emily has been here for you Aaron for so long that I think you have taken it for granted that she would always be here." Dave said as he stared at the man, his friend standing in front of him.

"What are you saying Dave? You know what she wanted to tell me don't you? Is she leaving the team?" Hotch said and Dave could hear the fear in his voice.

"Yes, she is leaving. Why don't you think about why that might be. Why would she fight so hard to come back to this team to just turn around and leave us all over again?" Dave said as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Why wouldn't she talk to me first? I thought we could tell each other anything. Hell Dave I have told her stuff that I have never told anyone, not even you. She could have come to me. I would have listened." His voice was quiet and shaking at the realization that he might have just lost the most important person in his life besides his son.

"Do you love her Aaron? Do you love Emily?" Dave knew the answer but asked anyway.

Hotch stared at his closest friend; besides Emily, and knew he couldn't hide anything from that man. Lowering his head he thought for a moment before answering. "Yes. Yes I love Emily. More than I thought possible."

"Aaron?"

Hotch raised his head to see Beth standing behind Dave. 'Ah fuck.' Was the first thought to run through his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter has a flashback in it from my story 'Starting Over Was Never Easy'. The stories are not really tied together but ****hot4booth**** wanted me to use a flashback so here it is. Thank you for all the reviews on the other chapters. It means more to me then you will ever know. ****Hot4booth**** I hope this is what you had in mind when mentioned a flashback. **

** Chapter 3**

"Do you love her Aaron? Do you love Emily?" Dave knew the answer but asked anyway.

Hotch stared at his closest friend; besides Emily, and knew he couldn't hide anything from that man. Lowering his head he thought for a moment before answering. "Yes. Yes I love Emily. More than I thought possible."

"Aaron?"

Hotch raised his head to see Beth standing behind Dave. 'Ah fuck.' Was the first thought to run through his head.

Dave turned and went back to the party leaving the two of them alone. Beth stood there on the porch with a sad look in her eyes.

"Beth, I'm sorry. I never meant to mislead you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Do you really love her Aaron?"

"Honestly? Yes I do. I didn't realize till tonight just how much she means to me."

"If you had feelings for her why did you ever start something with me?"

"Beth it was never my intentions to lead you on. I thought there might be a connection with us. I know I wanted to try to move forward and I wanted to try with you. I like you Beth, I really do but…"

"You don't love me," Beth finished for him.

"No I don't; but I thought there was a chance that I could… eventually." He said quietly, hanging his head in shame.

"Well to be honest with you Aaron, it is too early in our relationship to know what I feel for you. I know that I care for you. Do I love you? No, not yet. Was there a possibility? Yes there was."

"Beth I'm so sorry…," he began to apologize again but Beth stopped him before he could finish.

"Don't Aaron. You can't help how you feel. The only thing I am sorry about is that we didn't have a chance to see where we could go; and maybe that we never got more intimate. I see now that subconsciously you held back because you wanted it with her instead. I'm not going to say I am not disappointed, but even I know that it would never have worked with your heart somewhere else."

Beth leaned up and kissed Hotch on the cheek. "Will you tell Jack goodbye for me? I'll call a cab, you go and try and find Emily. Tell her how you feel before it is too late."

"Thank you Beth, for everything." Hotch said as he hugged her goodbye.

Hotch went back inside and found Dave standing with Strauss by the fountain in the garden.

"Excuse me ma'am, Dave can you watch Jack for me for a while?"

"Going to find our friend?" Dave asked with a smile on his face.

"Yes I am. Can you watch Jack?" Hotch said impatiently.

"Go Aaron, Jack will be fine here."

Hotch told Jack that Dave was going to watch him for a while and he would be back soon. Hotch made it to Emily's apartment in record time, having broken just about every driving law there was. The lights were out and there was no answer when he knocked on the door.

'Where did she go? Damn it I have to find her. This can't be it; it can't end like this. We haven't even had a chance to try.' He thought as he sat on the top step of the stairs to her third floor apartment. He thought going back to all the times she had been there for him when he needed someone. It had always been her he turned to. It had always been her that he wanted to turn to. It was he that had helped when Haley left him. He thought back to that first night she had comforted him.

_Flashback_

"_Hi, thanks for coming over." He said as he led her to the living room._

"_That's what friends are for Hotch." She said as she took a seat on the couch._

"_Is that what we are Prentiss?" He said shocked that she had referred to them as friends._

"_Aren't we? I hope we are. I know you didn't trust me and I know you didn't want me on your team but I thought we had moved past that somewhat. Have we not?" _

"_Yes, I think we have. I know I have not made it easy on you since you joined the team and I apologize for that. It was not you, it was the fact that you were brought in without my knowledge and I had a feeling Strauss was up to something from the beginning. I took it out on you and I am sorry for that. I admire you Emily for standing up to that woman; you were willing to give up everything you have worked for to protect this team."_

"_I told you Aaron, I hate politics. I do want to apologize for everything that happened. I didn't know she was going to use me as a mole in her quest to bring you down. I hope you know that I would never do anything to jeopardize the team in any way." _

_He could see the worry in her eyes and he knew he had to try and reassure her that he didn't blame her for anything. Not anymore. Now that he knew the truth. _

"_Emily I don't doubt for one minute that you would do whatever you can to protect us. I knew that when you turned in your resignation." _

"_Thank you for trusting me. Now tell me what happened with Haley." She said turning the focus off of her and back on to his problems._

"_She wants me to leave the BAU. That is why I put in for the transfer. When I decided to go to Milwaukee to help the team she was furious. She said it would never end, that there would always be one more case. I knew she was mad when I left but I needed to help the team. It is who I am; this job is who I am. I care about making a difference. I need to make a difference, I thought she understood that but over the past year things have changed and I don't know how to make it better. I don't even know that I want to anymore." He sat there with his head in the palms of his hands._

"_I'm sorry Aaron, I really am." Emily said as she reached over taking one of his hands in hers._

"_I think she has been seeing someone else."_

"_Oh Aaron…" She began but he cut her off._

"_I find myself not feeling to torn up about it. Not surprised either. We have had problems for a while. I knew this was coming I just can't believe she took Jack without a word and just left." He said as he absently squeezed Emily's hand a little tighter._

"_She is upset Aaron. Give her time; she'll call when she cools down. Maybe you can work this out." _

"_I don't know if I want to work it out."_

_They talked for hours about the options for him and his son's future. Emily finally headed home around two in the morning hoping she was of some help to her boss and friend; had promised him that she would be there if he needed to talk._

_End Flashback_

And she had been there through everything. She had been there after Foyet had attacked him; she had been there after Haley was killed. She was there for Jack and helped him understand everything that was going on. She let him cry for Haley and comforted him when his dad couldn't. Emily had always been the centering force for the team. She kept them grounded when the cases got too hard to bear.

It had almost destroyed the team when everything happened with Ian Doyle. It had almost destroyed him when she was gone. At the time he had thought it was because he had lost his closet friend but now he realized that it was because he was in love with her. He loved Emily Prentiss.

He sat there on those stairs for three hours waiting for her to come home when he finally gave up and went and picked up Jack at Dave's. He would have to wait for her to show up in his office in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He sat there on those stairs for three hours waiting for her to come home when he finally gave up and went and picked up Jack at Dave's. He would have to wait for her to show up in his office in the morning.

The next morning Hotch arrived earlier than usual to the office. He knew Emily was supposed to be there at 7:30 and he wanted to get there before she did. He walked to his office and pulled the files from his brief case, deciding to work on them till she got there.

The next time Hotch looked up it was already 8:00. His heart sank when he realized she wasn't going to come. Putting his head in his hands, he sighed and picked up the stapler and threw it against the wall on the other side of the room.

"Damn it." He said to the empty room.

Hotch looked down at the empty desks in the bullpen before settling on Emily's. His thoughts wondered back to the first time he had met her. He worked for her mother in his early days at the Bureau doing security clearances.

Emily had been home for summer break from Yale and he had found her enchanting even back then. She had stayed away from the house and her mother as much as possible and he understood that. If he could have gotten away from the Ambassador for more than a few minutes he would have. That woman was a cold hearted, selfish snake. He had always wondered how Emily had come out of that life as sweet and kind as she had.

The first time he had seen Emily was at a gala her mother was throwing for some charity she actually cared nothing about. Emily had been hiding in a dark corner of the ballroom trying not to be seen by all the touchy feely horny diplomats' that had attended. He had seen her sneak out the side entrance later that evening and had followed her. He had told himself it was just to make sure she was safe but in reality he knew it was because he was enthralled with her. Her sweet innocence was breathtaking. Her beauty… no one stood a candle to her; even then. But he had Haley waiting for him at home and he was not one to have a meaningless affair; even though he was sure that it would be anything but meaningless.

How could he have forgotten that; forgot how he had felt for her even back then? Maybe his compartmentalization skills could match Emily's on occasions.

'Damn, why did it take me so long to realize? Now it is too late.' He thought as his heart seemed to shatter into a million pieces. He knew she wasn't coming back. He knew he had just missed out on the one thing he had always wanted; whether he realized it or not at the time didn't matter. He had fucked up and he knew it. He was lost in thought and didn't hear the knock on his door.

Dave opened the door and saw the stapler on the floor and the devastated look on his friends face and knew Emily had not shown up.

"Aaron? What the hell are you doing?" Dave said as he walked in.

"She isn't coming Dave. I doubt she will be back. So I am sitting here wallowing in sorrow right now, do you mind? I really would rather do that in private so if you don't mind close the door on your way out." Hotch said as he lowered his head to his desk.

"Aaron stop with the pity party crap and listen to me. She will come back… eventually. She loves you Aaron; I think she always has. I don't get it myself but obviously she does so… Look so you missed the chance today to talk to her; you'll find the right time to say the right thing. Just give it time."

"How the hell can I tell her when I don't know where the hell she is Dave?" Hotch said as he lifted his head to look at his friend.

"You'll figure something out. You always do. Seeing as today is Sunday I am going back home and back to bed; I was just checking on you anyway. I'll see you in the morning." Dave said as he turned to leave.

"Dave… thanks. See you tomorrow."

It had been three months to the day since JJ's wedding. Three months since he had last seen the beauty of Emily Prentiss. Three months since his world had turned upside down.

He knew Emily had kept in contact with the others. She had gone to Comic-Con with Reid, clubbing with Morgan and Garcia, dinner with Dave and had regular girls' night out with JJ and Garcia. He had heard nothing from her; not a hello, goodbye or kiss my ass. Nothing, not a word and the others weren't talking in front of him. He had picked what he knew from tidbits of information he caught in passing. Over hearing the others talking he knew she had transferred to Counter Terrorism and that she had moved to a house in Dupont Circle.

He had to do something. He needed to see her, needed to talk to her. And he knew how he was going to try and attempt to do that. With a little help from a certain technical analyst; he might just achieve his goal.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

He had to do something. He needed to see her, needed to talk to her. And he knew how he was going to try and attempt to do that. With a little help from a certain technical analyst; he might just achieve his goal.

Hotch walked into Garcia's lair without knocking, startling the blonde.

"Geez, way to give a girl a heart attack sir." She said holding her hand over her heart.

"Sorry Garcia. I need your help." He said as he sat in the chair next to her.

"Well what can I do for you sir?" She asked with a quizzical look on her face.

"I know you have seen Emily. I know everyone has seen Emily but me. I need you to do me a favor and I understand if you don't want to help me but I really need your help…"

"Sir, sir calm down; yes I see her at least once a week, why?"

"She hasn't contacted me and I am worried about her. I had to hear from Strauss the she had left the team. I miss her Penelope, and I need your help to get her to at least talk to me. I have an idea how to make that happen; I just need your help." His voice was anxious.

"Sir, I want to help you… I really do but I don't want to betray her either. She is one of my best friends and I know right now she is torn about how she left. I can say that she misses you sir. She misses you terribly. That is all I am saying about that." She said in a rush of words.

"Penelope I understand your loyalty to her; I feel the same way. I just need you to come over to my apartment tonight and bring your laptop. I just need you to do this for me and then give it to her, that way it will be her decision if she sees me or not."

"Ok boss-man, you have yourself a deal. I'll be there at nine." She said with smile spreading widely across her face.

She wanted to help get these two together. She knew Emily was in a bad place right now and the only thing that would help her was Hotch. She wanted that for her, wanted her friend to finally be happy. If anyone deserved to be happy the two of them did. They both had been through so much over the last few years and she knew the battles that raged inside of them. They all faced hard times but Hotch and Emily seemed to have dealt with more of their fair share of the worse any of them had faced. Becoming a single father in the blink of an eye and losing someone you cared for was never easy. But to lose someone to a serial killer was the most horrific thing a person could face. Emily had helped Hotch through that and so much more.

To wake up in a hospital and told that you were dead to everyone that knew you, well except two people. That had to do a whole lot of psychological damage to Emily. But to lose the life you had, your job, and your friends was a feeling that even Penelope could not face. She didn't understand how Emily had survived being out there on her own with no one she could trust or turn to for help had to be the most terrifying experience; one Penelope would not have wished on anyone.

Penelope showed at Hotch's precisely at nine; never one to be late, especially when it was something this important. Hotch showed her into his home office and where she could set up her computer. Penelope noticed the video set up on a tri-pod in the corner.

"Hotch, what's up with the video camera?" She asked as she turned around to face her boss. "I'm all for a little kink but I am so not gonna do it with you."

"Relax Penelope, it is for you to record me for the DVD I want you to give to Emily." Hotch said laughing at the blonde's reaction.

"Well that's a relief because I would really hate to get fired for kicking your ass tonight sir." She said laughing up at the man in front of her.

"Well that's a relief because I would hate for you to kick my ass. Now, let's get started shall we." Hotch said as he picked up a guitar and sat down in the wingback chair.

An hour and a half later; Garcia was through burning the DVD for Hotch and was packing up her things getting ready to go home.

"Thank you for doing this Penelope." He said as he handed her her laptop case.

"You are so welcome my sweet. You know I won't be able to give this to her for at least a week? She is out of the country on assignment right now. I'm not sure where, it's all hush hush."

"I didn't know that but it is fine, it's been this long what are a few more days." Hotch said as he walked her to door. "Let me know when you are able to get it to her."

"I will sir. Have faith Hotch, it will all work out." she said before turning and walking out leaving him alone.

A/N: Sorry this is kind of short but I am trying to build up to something here. I hope you will review and let me know what you think so far. And as always thank you for taking the time to read.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok here we are again. I had planned on this being a much shorter story than this but it seems to have taken on a mind of its own so I really can't tell you right now how much longer this will be. **

**Now about this little story… A little drama may be coming in the near future. That is all I am saying. If you want to know what it is you have to continue to read this. **

**Chapter 6**

"You are so welcome my sweet. You know I won't be able to give this to her for at least a week? She is out of the country on assignment right now. I'm not sure where, it's all hush hush."

"I didn't know that but it is fine, it's been this long what are a few more days." Hotch said as he walked her to door. "Let me know when you are able to get it to her."

"I will sir. Have faith Hotch, it will all work out." she said before turning and walking out leaving him alone.

For Hotch the next two weeks went by in a haze. The team had just finished up with their third case in that amount of time. Being bogged down with cases he hadn't had a chance to talk to Garcia about Emily. He didn't know if she had made it back yet or not.

He sat in his dark living room listening to the CD that Emily had given to Garcia at JJ's wedding. He remembered to get when he had gone to pick Jack up from Dave's the night she ran. He played the song over and over nightly, just to feel closer to her. When he listened to it he could feel her in his arms; her breath in his neck, her lips on his skin, her scent all around him. God he missed her.

"Daddy I'm ready for bed. Can you read me a story?" Jack said as he ran in from the hall.

Jack stopped and looked around. "Daddy, why are you sitting in the dark? Why do you always listen to this song?" Jack asked as he climbed onto Hotch's lap.

"Hey buddy. Daddy just likes this song a lot. I'm sitting in the dark because I'm a little sad right now and when I listen to this song it makes me feel a little better." Hotch said as he hugged Jack to him.

"Why are you sad daddy?" The little boy asked looking up at his dad.

"Daddy misses Miss Emily. Remember I told you she got a different job and doesn't work with daddy any more. I don't get to see her or talk to her anymore and that makes me sad." Hotch said as he got up from the couch and carried Jack down the hall to the his bedroom; pulling back the Superman comforter and sheet before laying him down. Covering him up, Hotch sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned down and kissed Jack on his forehead.

"Don't be sad daddy. Miss Emily will come back and see us. She has to because she said she loved me and promised to always be here for us. So that means she will come back daddy. Miss Emily doesn't lie to me so she will come see me and then you can see her and you won't be sad anymore." Jack said in earnest.

"Jack you are so smart. Yes I am sure Miss Emily will come see you soon. What story do you want to read tonight?" He asked as he ran his hand over his son's hair.

"How bout we read James and the Giant Peach?"

Hotch got the book from the bookcase and came back over to the bed.

"Ok scoot over buddy and I'll read a page and then you can help me read a page." Hotch said as he leaned back against the headboard.

Thirty minutes later Jack was asleep and Hotch stood under the hot spray from the shower; letting the heat remove some of the stress from his shoulders. After his shower he went to the mini bar in his office, unlocked it and poured himself a shot of scotch. It would be enough to take the edge off and help him relax enough to sleep, he hoped. Sleep head been few and far between since Emily had left. If she wouldn't talk to him after getting the DVD he made, then there was only one thing to do.

Corner her at her work. It was not what he wanted; he didn't even know if he could get in to see her. The department she worked in in was high level security and anyone coming or going had to buzzed in or out. He knew his security clearance was high but nowhere near being able to gain access to the State Department of Homeland Security. It took credentials he didn't have but he knew who might be able to get him in to see her if needed. JJ was the one he would turn to next for help if it turned to that.

Hotch was lost in his thoughts when he was snapped back to reality by the shrill of his cell phone.

"Hotchner." He answered gruffly.

"Hotch, it's Penelope." Garcia said from the other end of the line.

"Penelope any news yet on Emily?" He asked with desperation in his voice he knew he couldn't disguise.

"Yes, she is back. She got back this morning and finally called me back sir. She just left my apartment. I can tell you this though; she was surprised to get the DVD. I told her it was from you and that she had to watch it before she made any decisions about anything. I also need to tell you that she will be out of work for a while."

"Why? What happened?" he said worriedly.

"She was shot Hotch." Garcia said and she heard the sharp intake of breath from the other end of the phone.

"What? How bad? Is she ok?" Hotch stammered.

"She's fine sir. It was to the leg. It's not bad, I promise she is fine." Garcia said hurriedly trying to calm him down.

"How the hell did she get shot? She was supposed to be out of the field now. She wasn't supposed to be in danger there."

"She was on assignment in Afghanistan translating for someone they had apprehended. They came under attack by some insurgents. She took out five by herself Hotch before she went down and then took out another three from where she fell. She is up for a commendation sir." She said proudly.

Hotch's heart swelled with pride at the same time it broke knowing he could have lost her again without ever being able to tell her that he loved her.

"She's ok? You saw her and she looks ok, right?" He asked and she could still hear how worried he was.

"Sir she is fine. She is walking around with crutches but other than that she looks great. She did say that she would watch the DVD and call me later. She seemed pleased to get it though. I know when she watches it she will be coming to see you; she has to and if she doesn't I will drag her over there myself. But I know I won't need to because she will know how you feel and everything will be fine."

"I hope your right Penelope. I hope your right." He said before they ended their call.

Hotch laid in bed thinking of what he would say to her if she came to see him. Sleep finally overtook him around three thirty in the morning and he dreamed of her. He always dreamed of her. He dreamed about the night of JJ's wedding and how she felt in his arms. How her lips had felt on his skin. He dreamed of the pained look in her eyes before she ran away from him. That look, he never wanted to see again because he knew it was his fault it was there in the first place.

**A/N: Ok the tad bit of drama that was in this chapter is not the drama I was talking about. There will be more to come so stayed tuned to find out. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I added another song in here because I really couldn't decide between the two. It is 'One and Only' by Adele…. I know all the songs are by her but they are so fitting for this story and I really love the songs. Head to edit these songs out as well. Sorry.  
**

**Chapter 7**

Hotch laid in bed thinking of what he would say to her if she came to see him. Sleep finally overtook him around three thirty in the morning and he dreamed of her. He always dreamed of her. He dreamed about the night of JJ's wedding and how she felt in his arms. How her lips had felt on his skin. He dreamed of the pained look in her eyes before she ran away from him. That look, he never wanted to see again because he knew it was his fault it was there in the first place.

Emily had gone to bed when she got home; putting off watching the DVD until she was rested. Emily now sat at the island in her kitchen drinking her coffee. She missed Hotch and Jack. She missed the way Jack would curl in to her side while they watched TV or a movie. She missed how he would crawl onto her lap when she would read him a bedtime story. She just missed him.

She missed Hotch. She missed the way he would smile at her, showing her his dimples. She missed the way he talked to Jack. Not very many people got to see the softer side of him and she felt privileged to be able to witness it. She missed the way he sat beside her on the couch and would watch TV or a movie with her and Jack. She missed his scent, his eyes, how they sparkled when he smiled. She just missed him.

Emily made her way to the couch where she had set up her laptop. Setting the crutches on the floor beside the couch, she turned on the laptop and put in the DVD.

She pulled up the DVD drive on pushed play and waited for whatever was on it to start. Hotch suddenly appeared on the screen; sitting in her favorite chair in his office holding a guitar, and then he began to speak.

"Emily, I miss you. I miss seeing your face. I miss hearing your laugh. I miss your beautiful eyes and the way the corners crinkle when you laugh. I miss the way they sparkle when you're happy. I miss the way the fire burns in them when you're mad. I miss you. You know I have never been able to show my emotions very easily so I thought maybe this would help me express how I feel." He said as he positioned the guitar and began to play. He sang to her, quite well, better than she had thought he would sound. She recognized the song, it was 'One and Only' by Adele. She had always loved this song.

The song ended and Emily paused the DVD and put her head in her hands before she started to rub her temples. She had sat there and watched him sing for her, to her and she loved his voice. It was so smooth and it seemed to draw her in. but that was beside the point right now. He had sung to her and that was something no one had ever done for her. He was showing her a side of himself that she didn't even know existed. He as telling her something she had wanted for so long but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think would happen. He was telling her that he had feelings for her, but was it enough? She didn't know.

She un-paused the DVD and watched as he laid the guitar in his lap.

"Emily, I know that this was not nearly enough to express what I am feeling but maybe you could find it in your heart to see me at least one last time. If for the only reason, I never got to tell you goodbye. There is so much more I want to say but it can wait till you are ready to see me.

Hotch picked up the guitar again and began to play another song by Adele, 'Don't You Remember'. It was an emotional song for him. she could hear the emotions in his voice and it broke her heart to know she had caused that sound in him.

Before the DVD went black Emily could see the tears in Hotch's eyes and it broke her heart to know that she had caused him this pain. She had to decide what she wanted to do. She knew she had hurt him when she left. She knew it was wrong to leave that way and it ate her up inside to know that she had caused the man she loves pain. But it hurt her to see him with Beth and she couldn't sit by and watch him moving forward in his life while she had stalled in her past.

Now how to handle this? That was the biggest question of all and she had not a single idea of what she was going to do.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Before the DVD went black Emily could see the tears in Hotch's eyes and it broke her heart to know that she had caused him this pain. She had to decide what she wanted to do. She knew she had hurt him when she left. She knew it was wrong to leave that way and it ate her up inside to know that she had caused the man she loves pain. But it hurt her to see him with Beth and she couldn't sit by and watch him moving forward in his life while she had stalled in her past.

Now how to handle this? That was the biggest question of all and she had not a single idea of what she was going to do.

It had been three days since Emily had watched the DVD and still had no idea what to do. She knew what she wanted but scared to open herself up for the heart that could come with it. She had never been dependent on anyone in her entire life. She had never needed anyone before she had joined the BAU. Her team had become her family and she loved every one of them dearly. She had kept in contact like she had promised Penelope. Well, with everyone except Hotch.

She missed seeing him every day. She missed talking with him about her problems; now he was the problem. She missed Jack so much and knew she had to go and see him because she had made a promise to him and she never broke a promise. She would go see him and soon, because she loved that little boy more than anything else in the world. She felt terrible about not being there for him in the past few months and she knew she had to rectify that. If for no one other than Jack, she had to be there for him.

Three days later Emily had made her choice. Right or wrong it may be. She picked up her cell phone that had been lying on the couch beside her. She dialed the number and waited. She knew it was a probability that he was either in a meeting with Strauss or away on a case. She took the chance that he was doing neither of those things.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang. On the fourth ring she was about to hang because she didn't want to leave a message on his voice mail, he answered.

"Emily? Emily is that you?" He asked in a breathless wind.

"Yes it's me. I can call back if you are busy. You sound busy." She said quietly in to the phone.

"NO. Emily please don't hang up. I promise I'm not busy. I would never be too busy for you. I was just sparring with Morgan. Garcia said you were hurt… are you ok?"

I'm fine Aaron. I'll be back to work soon. I thought while I was out I could come and see… Jack. Would you mind?" She asked hesitantly.

"That would be great. He really misses you. I really miss you Emily."

"Aaron don't… please. Not like this, not over the phone. I can't get in to this on the phone." She said and he could hear the strain and the tears in her voice.

"Emily, please don't cry and don't tell me you're not because I can hear it in your voice. When would you like to come over? Or would it be better if I bring him over to your place?" he asked hoping she would choose hers because that way he didn't risk the chance of her running again.

"My place will be fine. Do you have something to write with?"

"Yes… ok I'm ready."

"My new address is 1515 15th Street Northwest. It's in DuPont Circle. Do you think you can find it?" She asked as played with her hair, twisting it around her finger nervously.

"I'll find it. When would be a good time for you?" he asked praying for sooner rather than later.

"Any time between now and next Tuesday will be good. I have to go back to the doctor then so that day is out."

"How about I bring him over Saturday and we can stay for a while… if that is ok?"

"That's fine. I'll see you then." She said and was getting ready to hang up when she knew she had to tell him.

"Oh and Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you too." She said and hung up the phone.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter was short but I felt like ending it here instead of having it run together with what I have coming up next. Hope you enjoyed it and thank you for all the reviews I have received. They are greatly appreciated. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Oh and Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you too." She said and hung up the phone.

Saturday morning rolled around and Hotch could barely contain his excitement. He was like a kid in a candy store and he hadn't even told Jack yet. Wait until the little Hotchner found out they were going to see his Emmy today. He had waited to tell him in case something had come up that would prevent them being able to go see her.

Hotch got up and went to the kitchen to put the coffee on and then went to wake Jack up.

"Jack, time to wake up buddy; we have a big day today." Hotch said as he shook his son's shoulders gently.

"Daddy, I don't want to do nothing today." Jack said rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Anything Jack; you don't want to do anything today." Hotch corrected the little boy. "You don't even want to go see Emily today?"

Jack sat straight up with the biggest smile on his face. "Do you mean it Daddy? We can go see my Emmy?" He said as he bounced up and down on the bed.

"Yes I mean it Jack. Emily wants to see you. She called me the other day and said that she misses you and wanted to see you." Hotch said, smiling at the excitement on his son's face.

"Daddy we have to hurry and get dressed. Hurry daddy, we don't want to be late." Jack said as he jumped out of the bed and ran to his dresser.

"We have time buddy. We need to eat breakfast first and I need to take care of a few things first."

After breakfast Hotch got Jack ready and then went to get dressed. He chose to wear a pair of blue jeans and a dark blue short-sleeve Polo shirt that Emily had gotten for him for Christmas the year before.

They arrived at Emily's townhouse at 11:30 and the only thing Hotch could think about was 'he needed to see her face'. Hotch knocked on the door and waited. He could hear the soft music coming from behind the door and then he heard the click of the lock before the door opened to the smiling face of Emily Prentiss.

"Jackster! Oh come here sweetie and let me see you." She said as she squatted and pulled the boy into her arms, hugging him. "You are getting so big. I think you have grown a whole foot since I saw you last."

"Really?" Jack said excitedly as he clung to Emily's neck.

"Really!" She answered.

Emily let go of the little boy and stood up again to look at Hotch. She gave him a small smile. "Hi." She said nervously.

"Hi. How are you doing? Where are your crutches?" he asked as he noticed that she wasn't using them.

"They are in by the couch. I don't use them that much now. They are annoying and I seem to do better without them anyway. Come in, please." She said as she stepped to the side to let them in the door.

"Can I get you anything? Something to drink?" She asked as she turned around to face the Hotchner duo.

"No we're ok for right now, thank you." Hotch said as he watched her limp ahead of toward what he assumed to be the living room.

The two followed her into the living room where they took a seat on the couch beside her. Jack crawled over closer to her and hugged her again.

"I've missed you so much." He said into her neck.

Emily hugged him tighter as tears began to burn her eyes.

"I've missed you too sweetie, sooooo much. I am sorry I haven't been by to see you in a while. Do you remember after your mommy died and I promised you that I would always be here for you and your dad?" She asked him softly.

"Yes, I remember." Jack's tiny little voice replied.

"Well I haven't kept that promise and I am so sorry that I haven't. I didn't mean to be away so long but I am here now and I promise there is nothing that will keep me away anymore. I love you my little Jackster." Emily said as she felt the tears slide down her cheeks.

"I love you too my Emmy." And she smiled at the nickname he had given her years ago. He always called her 'my Emmy' and it made her feel like she was home again, she had missed him calling her that.

She looked up at Hotch and could see the tears swimming in his eyes as well. She gave him a true Emily smile that he could feel all the way to his toes and he showed her his dimples in return.

"Jackster what do you want to do today?" Emily asked as she leaned back to see the little boys face.

"Can we go to the park?" He asked hopefully.

""Not today sweetie but I promise as soon as my leg is better I will go the park with you. How about we pop some popcorn and have a movie marathon and then for dinner we can order pizza?" She asked raising her eyebrows at Hotch in question who nodded his head in reply with a smile on his face.

"Ok. What do you want to watch?" Jack asked her seriously. He was so much like his daddy when he was concentrating on something.

"Well, we can see what's on Pay-Per-View and find something. Here you go through the movies and pick one while your daddy and I get the popcorn ready." She said handing him the remote after turning on the TV and switching it to the Pay-Per-View channels.

Hotch followed her to the kitchen and watched her get a couple of bowls down out of the cabinet and then put the popcorn in the microwave before she turned and faced him.

"I just want to say first, that I am sorry. I shouldn't have left that way. You deserved an explanation and I am sorry that I didn't give you one. Secondly, we do need to talk but not with Jack around. I promise to tell you everything later. Third, I really missed you." She said and as she said the last part she walked over and hugged him.

She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Hotch's arms automatically encircled her in a warm embrace.

"I have missed you too. More than you could possibly know." He said and kissed her on the top of her head.

He knew that there was a lot to talk about, but this was a beginning. Yes that is what it was a beginning.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you everyone for all the great reviews. They mean so much to me. I try to reply to all my reviews but if I missed you I apologize it was not intentional. Please continue to let me know what you think as we go along. I am not sure how much more this story has as it has taken on a mind of its own. I know it will be at least two maybe three more chapters for sure but will probably be more hahaha. **

**Chapter 10**

"I just want to say first, that I am sorry. I shouldn't have left that way. You deserved an explanation and I am sorry that I didn't give you one. Secondly, we do need to talk but not with Jack around. I promise to tell you everything later. Third, I really missed you." She said and as she said the last part she walked over and hugged him.

She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Hotch's arms automatically encircled her in a warm embrace.

"I have missed you too. More than you could possibly know." He said and kissed her on the top of her head.

He knew there was a lot to talk about but this was a beginning. Yes that is what it was a beginning.

The three of them sat on her couch and watched 'Dr. Seuss' The Lorax' and were half way through watching 'Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked' when Emily felt the weight of Jack slump against her side.

She looked down to see the boy had fallen asleep against her. She raised her hand and tapped Hotch on the shoulder and pointed down at the little one.

"You can lay him in my room; I don't have the guest room fixed up yet. My room is the first door on the right up the stairs." She said quietly.

Hotch nodded and lifted the little boy into his arms and carried him up the stairs. When he returned he found her in the kitchen cleaning up their little mess. He watched her wash the bowls and glasses.

She was beautiful and she didn't even realize it. She turned around to see him staring out her with a smile on his face.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing." He replied.

She moved to stand closer to him. "Are you ready to talk since Jack is asleep?" She asked as she looked up at him.

"Yes; if you're ready." He said as he followed her back into the living room.

They took their places back on the couch; sitting side ways facing each other.

"First let me just say, thank you for the DVD. It was beautiful. I didn't know you could sing. I listened to what you were saying and I realized that maybe there was something there that I didn't see. And what I mean by that is that maybe you did have feelings for me that I didn't see before. I know we have been close and I just always assumed that your feelings were nothing but friendship. I have always known how I felt for you. It was too hard for me when you started dating Beth. I knew I had to get away because I just wanted you to be happy and if she made you happy who was I to stand in the way of that? So I ran. I shouldn't have, but I did." She said in a rush, trying to get the words out before she lost all her nerves.

Hotch just sat there and listened to her as she tried to explain herself.

"Secondly, you deserved an honest explanation to why I was leaving and I didn't give you that. I was scared to be honest. I didn't want you to try and talk me out of it. There are other reasons why I left not just you. You just happen to be the main reason. I have had a hard time since I returned, you know that. I couldn't get back to the place where I was before I left and it left me shaken. I know everyone has forgiven me but I guess I haven't forgiven myself completely yet. I am a work in progress you could say. I lost the the trust in myself to be able to take care of all of you in the field. I know that it was unfounded but it is how I felt." She watched as her words registered in his eyes.

"Emily, you have never given us any reason to think that you were anything but capable in the field. You have always been strong and determined; besides Morgan I think you were the one who was always willing to go that extra step regardless of the danger to yourself. You put your safety behind the safety of all of ours. Never did you ever stop and think about what could happen to you; you just stepped up and went for the take down no matter the consequences. I have always admired that in you. There was never a moment that I didn't trust you or your capabilities in the field."

"Thank you for that Aaron. I am sorry I left the way I did. I should have just talked to you and told you how I was feeling. Can I ask you something?" She asked, laying her head on the back of the couch.

"Anything." He said.

"What happened with Beth?" She said as looked him in the eye.

"Well at JJ's wedding I realized a few things. I didn't feel the same way about Beth as I do you. After I watched you leave I ran after you and Dave followed me. I admitted to him that I was in love with you… Beth overheard." He said solemnly but with no regret.

"I'm sorry Aaron." She replied sadly.

"I'm not. It gave me hope."

"I didn't think I deserved to be loved… to be loved by you I guess. I want a family and children. After I had the abortion at fifteen… I feel like I don't deserve any of that. I want it but…" she said as a single tear slid down her cheek on to the couch.

Hotch wiped the tear away and she closed her eyes at his tender touch.

"Emily you deserve that and so much more. You can't blame yourself for what happened in your past. You were young and didn't have anyone to turn to besides Matthew. Whether it was the right decision or not only you can say. But you deserve to love and be loved in return. Don't ever feel that you don't." He said as he pulled her across the couch to him, enveloping her in his arms.

"I think I have loved you since the night I got my divorce papers. I just never realized it until I lost you." He said into her hair where he had buried his face.

"You didn't lose me. I just took a long detour to where I needed to be."

There was long silence as they held each other until Emily broke the silence in quiet voice.

"I'm glad you came." Her breath was warm against his chest.

"I'm glad you called." She could hear the smile in his voice even though she couldn't see his face.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"I think I have loved you since the night I got my divorce papers. I just never realized it until I lost you." He said into her hair where he had buried his face.

"You didn't lose me. I just took a long detour to where I needed to be."

There was long silence as they held each other until Emily broke the silence in quiet voice.

"I'm glad you came." Her breath was warm against his chest.

"I'm glad you called." She could hear the smile in his voice even though she couldn't see his face.

An hour and a half later; Jack came down stairs to find his dad and Emily asleep on the couch.

"Daddy?" He whispered, tapping Hotch on the head.

Hotch felt the tiny fingers of his son poking his head and he picked his head up and looked over the arm of the couch at his son. Then he realized his arm was draped over Emily's waist, her head rested on his arm.

"What is it Jack?" He asked almost scared to hear what was about to come out of the little boys mouth.

"Why are you and Emily sleeping on the couch and why are you holding her like that daddy?" He asked with a very serious look on his face.

Emily stirred and heard the tiny voice behind her. She rolled over to see what was going on; only she forgot she was on her couch and hit the floor at Jack's feet. She laid there stunned as Hotch's head looked over the side of the couch with a concerned look on his face; but he couldn't hide the smile in his eyes as he asked her "Emily are you okay?"

Jack stood there laughing down at her. "Emily fell on her butt."

"I'm fine Aaron. I just forgot that I was on the couch." She said smiling up at them both.

Hotch got up and helped her to her feet. "Are you sure you are ok? You didn't hurt your leg again did you?"

"No I'm fine I promise." She said as she straightened her clothing that had twisted while she slept.

"My Jackster, did you have a good nap sweetie." She asked the little boy who still stared at the two of them.

"Yes… Um… My Emily, why were you lying on daddy sleeping?" He asked inquisitively.

"Well my Jackster, your daddy and I were talking and I guess we were tired to, so we took a nap too." Emily tried to explain the best she could to him.

"Do you like my daddy, my Emily?" She could see the questions spinning in the little boys head.

""Yes I do like your daddy and I like you too." She said tousling his hair.

"No, I mean do you like my daddy like my mommy liked my daddy?"

Emily looked at Hotch who was just smirking at her. He really wanted to hear her explain that one to him.

"Yes I do Jack." Was all she said. She really didn't know how far to go in explaining what was going on. Hell she didn't know what was going on yet.

"Are you going to go on dates with him like Beth used to?"

Emily's eyes widened, her head shot up to look at Hotch. He had an equally shocked look on his face at the mention of the other woman's name. He decided to help her with his son.

"Jack, Beth in I broke up, I told you that. I really like Emily and I would love for her to go on a date with me, but that is her decision. Would you have a problem if Emily and I started dating?"

"No. I like my Emily. She makes me laugh and she always makes you smile daddy." Said the smiling boy.

"Well buddy, I think it's time for us to go home."

"I want to stay here with my Emily." Jack cried.

Emily quickly knelt beside the little boy "My Jackster; maybe if it's okay with your daddy, I can come over tomorrow and we can hang out."

"Can she daddy?" Said an excited Jack.

"Yes, if she wants to." Hotch replied.

"I will see you tomorrow my Jackster." She said as she hugged him and kissed him on his cheek and forehead. She stood back up and turned to face Hotch.

Before she could say anything Hotch stepped forward and pulled her in to his arms. Emily wrapped her arms around his waist like it was the most natural thing on earth. It felt right, it felt safe, and it felt like home.

"I know there are things we still need to talk about maybe we will get a chance tomorrow." He said and then he leaned down a kissed her gently on her lips.

He wouldn't push her for more. He was content in the fact that they were taking the next step in moving their relationship forward. He pulled back and smiled down at her.

"I'll see you tomorrow Emily." He said as he moved Jack toward the door.

"What time would be good for you Aaron?" She followed behind them.

"If you make it around eleven then I can cook you lunch. Maybe grill out some steaks?"

"That sounds good, but don't go to any trouble on my account. I would be just as happy to pig out on pizza or some Chinese or something."

"It wouldn't be any trouble. So I'll see around eleven?" He asked.

"Absolutely." She replied with a wide smile.

**A/N: I know this chapter is lacking but I felt the need to have a little Jack moment. Hopefully the next chapter will be better.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Okay people we are coming down to the end of this story I think. A few more chapters should wrap it up. I know I said there was some more drama and it is coming soon so hang in there with me. I want to thank everyone who have read and took the time to review. It means so much to me. I hope I can get the rest of this to turn out like I want it to but as I said before it has taken on a mind of its own. I am just along for the ride.**

**Chapter 12**

"I'll see you tomorrow Emily." He said as he moved Jack toward the door.

"What time would be good for you Aaron?" She followed behind them.

"If you make it around eleven then I can cook you lunch. Maybe grill out some steaks?"

"That sounds good, but don't go to any trouble on my account. I would be just as happy to pig out on pizza or some Chinese or something."

"It wouldn't be any trouble. So I'll see around eleven?" He asked.

"Absolutely." She replied with a wide smile.

Emily closed the door and locked it before turning the alarm back on. She smiled to herself, she was ready for this. Ready to see where this would take them. She had been waiting for this a long time and she knew she had almost screwed it all up. Thank god she hadn't done irrevocable damage.

Emily had just gotten out of the shower when she heard her phone ringing. She ran and grabbed it off the bedside table and answered it breathlessly.

"Hello?" She said as she pulled the towel around her tighter.

"Em, its Dave." She heard from the other end; she could hear the stress in his voice.

"Who?" Was all that came out in a scared whisper.

"It's Aaron and Jack. They were in an accident. They are at St. Sebastian's." He said right before he heard the click of the phone as she hung up.

Emily ran through the Emergency Room doors fifteen minutes later and found Dave waiting inside by the doors to Triage.

"Dave what happened?" Her heart was pounding hard in her chest.

"They were on their way home and about a mile from their house a drunk driver ran a red light and plowed into the driver's side door. The responding Detective said the guy had to be going at least 70 miles per hour when he hit them. Jack is ok. He has a few cuts and scrapes from the broken glass and a concussion from the impact with the window but other than that he is fine. Just scared and crying for Aaron. I thought maybe you could get him to calm down."

"Why aren't you saying anything about Aaron, Dave? What aren't you telling me?" She asked as she held her breath waiting for the worse.

**A/N: Ok I know this chapter is extremely short but I had to get the cliff hanger over with. Please don't kill me. Love you guys and I will have the next chapter up soon. No later than tomorrow night I hope.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: sorry this rook so long for me to get back to. Hopefully I am back on track now. Hope you enjoy. Drop me a line to let me know what you think. **

**Chapter 13**

"Why aren't you saying anything about Aaron, Dave? What aren't you telling me?" She asked as she held her breath waiting for the worse.

"It's not good Emily. I don't know how he is, I just know they told me he coded in the ambulance. They are working on him now. I tried to calm Jack down but nothing is working. They need him to calm down so they can get the cut on his head stitched up. His lucky with all the glass that he only has one cut that needs stitches."

"Where is he?" She asked and she knew Dave could hear the panic in her voice.

"He is through here. I told him you would be here soon so he is waiting on you." Dave said as he led her through the double doors to trauma unit.

"Emily felt a small rush of relief wash over her when she saw Jack lying on the gurney, relatively unhurt.

She could see the blood soaking his blonde hair. All she wanted to do right now, was to hold him and comfort him. As she walked toward the little boy she said a prayer for his father. No matter how worried she was about the elder Hotchner, the youngest needed her right now and she had to focus on him, she had to let him know that everything was okay.

"My Jackster." She said as she made it to the gurney. She pulled his little frame into her arms and held him close as he realized who held him.

"My Emily!" He cried as he hugged her tightly.

"Oh my Jackster, don't cry sweetie. Everything will be okay, I promise." She rubbed her hand down the boy's back.

"Daddy got hurt. Where is he? Did he go away like mommy?" The boy cried, almost in hysterics.

"No Jack, daddy will be okay. The doctors are going to fix him up and make him better. But right now we need get you all fixed up so you can see daddy when the doctors get done with him. You have to hold still so they can sew up the cut on your head. I'll hold you if you want me too."

Jack hugged her tighter saying, "Please don't leave me my Emily."

"I would never leave you my Jackster. After they get done we'll try and see how daddy is doing." They sat there and waited for the nurse to come back in.

Twenty-five minutes later; with Jack all stitched up, Emily and Jack found Dave in the waiting room for operating room number four. Dave sat there with his head in hands, waiting for the doctor to come back out and give him word on Aaron.

"Any word Dave?" She asked the man worriedly.

"No, nothing yet; the doctor said he would come out and soon as he could." Dave said as he looked up to Emily holding Jack in her arms.

"Hey Jack. Are you feeling better there buddy?" He voice was soft as he talked to Jack.

Jack didn't answer, just buried his face deeper into Emily's neck.

"He's okay Dave. He's just scared right now. Have you called anyone else?" She asked as she took the seat next to him.

"Yeah, they're on their way. They should be here soon."

"I should have asked him to stay." She said blankly.

"What are you talking about Kiddo?" Dave asked, turning slightly in his chair to look at her.

"They were on their way home from my house. I should have asked Aaron to stay longer. If I had, he wouldn't be in there right now, in no telling what kind of condition." She whispered to him, so Jack couldn't hear.

"Emily this is not your fault. You had no idea that a drunk driver was going to run in to them. You can't blame yourself for this. You don't carry that weight on your shoulders sweetie because it will eat you alive. That will do them no good, so you wipe that thought from your mind right now do you hear me." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as the other members of his team came running in.

"Dave, Emily… How is Hotch?" Morgan said out of breath.

"No word yet." Was all Dave said as the others took seats around the small room.

Penelope looked over at Emily and Jack, noticing that the little tyke had fallen asleep on her shoulder, his face buried in her neck.

"Em? Do you want me to take Jack for a little bit?" She asked her softly.

"Thanks Pen but I'm okay for right now. I don't want to wake him now that he has calmed down." She said hugging him closer to her.

They sat quietly, waiting for the doctor, praying for some good news. The doctor finally came out to talk to them thirty minutes later.

"Family for Aaron Hotchner." He said as he walked through the door.

"Yes." They all said at once.

"He is going to be fine. The EMT's almost lost him in the ambulance. It appears that the side airbag failed to deploy and he hit the side window with his head. The stress to his brain from the impact caused him to stop breathing, hence him coding in the ambulance. We had to go in and repair damage to his shoulder caused by the seatbelt, his rotator cuff was torn in two and and his shoulder was dislocated. It was nothing major and with therapy he should regain full use of his shoulder. There should be no lasting effects from his injuries. There are cuts and scrapes to his face of course but none that should scar. Do you have any questions?"

The team let out a sigh of relief as Emily handed Jack to Penelope.

Standing, she faced the doctor, "So he is going to be okay?"

"Yes, he is going to be fine and as long as he follows the program his therapist sets him up on he will heal fine." Stated the older man.

"Can I see him?"

"Yes, I'll have the nurse take you to see him as soon as he gets to his room. We'll keep him the rest of tonight and probably tomorrow night for observation but he should be able to go home Monday afternoon."

"Thank you." Emily said as she sat back down. Relief ran through her. She could have lost him; she could have missed the chance to tell him that she loved him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Thank you." Emily said as she sat back down. Relief ran through her. She could have lost him; she could have missed the chance to tell him that she loved him.

The nurse came and took Emily to Hotch's room thirty minutes later. Emily walked in and saw that he was still asleep. She walked closer and gasped when she caught sight of his face. There were cuts and scrapes all over and there was a long gash across the top of his forehead. Almost the same place as Jack's; Jack's had taken only four stitches to stitch up his wound, but she could the Hotch's took at least ten. There was an ugly bruise already forming around it, which made it look so much worse.

She made it to the side of the bed and couldn't stop herself from pushing his hair back off his forehead gently. Letting her hand rest softly on his cheek, she gently stroked her thumb back and forth across his cheekbone. Her tears slid down her pale face as she cried silently for him. His eyes opened slowly to see her standing there with her tear streaked face and pained look on her face.

"Hi." He said softly; reaching up to take the hand she had on his face, holding it in his as he lowered it to his chest.

"Hi. How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Do you need me to get the nurse to get you something for the pain?" She said quickly and he could hear the panic in her voice.

"No Emily, I'm fine for now. I think I'm still high on the Morphine they gave me for the surgery." He replied with a laugh. Then his thoughts went to his son, how could he have forgot about his son. "Is Jack okay? Was he hurt? How bad is it?"

"Calm down Aaron. Jack is fine. A little bruised and cut up but he is fine. He will think it is awesome that the two of you have matching cuts on your foreheads though. You know he wants to be just like you. He only needed four stitches. He will be sore for a few days at least but nothing serious. You on the other hand gave us all a scare. You coded in the ambulance. They said it was from your head hitting the window; something about it caused stress to your brain. You had surgery on your shoulder to repair you rotator cuff and to put your shoulder back in the socket. The doctor said that you should heal fine if you follow the therapist's orders." Her tears still had not slowed down despite the fact that she could see that he was okay.

He let go of her hand and reached up to wipe her tears away.

"Don't cry, I'm okay I promise." He said soothingly.

"Aaron I could have lost you both tonight. I could have lost you before I told you that I love you. You both could have been gone and I would have lost the best thing I never had a chance to have. I'm sorry Aaron, I should have asked you to stay longer. It wouldn't have happened if you had stayed…" She cried harder.

"Shhh, this was not your fault Emily. It wasn't your fault, so don't blame yourself for what happened. Now quit crying and tell me again."

She looked at him, not understanding what he was talking about. She thought back to what she had been saying and realized what he wanted to hear. This she would never deny him, now that she had said it aloud.

"I love you Aaron. I love you and I love Jack and I am sorry I never told you how I was feeling. I want…" she stopped herself before she said too much, too fast.

"What Emily? What do you want? Tell me… please."

"I want… to be with you and Jack. I want a future with you Aaron. I'm tired of running away from what I want." She said quietly, scared of what his reaction would be.

Hotch smiled up at her widely. "I want that too Emily." He said as he pulled her down closer to him until her face was just inches from his.

Emily placed he hand on either side of him to brace herself so she wouldn't fall on him and hurt him. Their lips met tentatively, he slowly worked his mouth over hers. His tongue traced her lower lip until she granted him access to the wet cavern of her mouth. He gave a low growl as his hand moved under her hair to nape of her neck; pulling her down to where she was practically lying on top of him.

They were so caught up in their kiss that they didn't hear the door open and their friends walk in. The door closed behind them quietly and they stood there like voyeurs, watching the heated kiss between the two oblivious people on the bed.

Dave was the first one to speak and Dave being Dave, couldn't help but tease the two.

"Aaron I don't think you are in any shape to be accosting Emily right now." He snickered at them as the two broke apart.

"Be quiet Dave. We were just showing each other how we feel for one another." Hotch commented.

"You were showing each other something alright, but it looked like you were showing Emily your tongue to me." Dave laughed heartily at the dark haired man in the bed. "Well Emily, is his tongue okay? It will heal won't it?" Dave teased some more.

"I can honestly say that he has definitely not got any problems with his tongue." Emily said smiling back at Dave as she got up off the bed to stand beside it again.

The others just stood there laughing at the teasing between the other three. Penelope brought Jack's still sleeping form and laid him on the bed beside Hotch. Jack opened his eyes and saw his daddy looking down at him.

"Daddy you're okay. You didn't go away like mommy. My Emily was right; she said you'd be okay." He said sleepily against Hotch's side.

"I'm fine buddy. Look I have a cut on my forehead like you." Hotch said, pointing to the cut.

"Cool." Was all the sleepy little boy said before he drifted off back to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Ok I think this is going to be the last chapter. I hope you enjoy. Thank you all for the great reviews I have received on this story. If you liked this one then for those of you who haven't read my other stories, please read some or all and let me know what you think of those as well. **

**This chapter is long but I didn't feel that it needed to be split, so enjoy and let me know what you think.**

**Chapter 15**

The others just stood there laughing at the teasing between the other three. Penelope brought Jack's still sleeping form and laid him on the bed beside Hotch. Jack opened his eyes and saw his daddy looking down at him.

"Daddy you're okay. You didn't go away like mommy. My Emily was right; she said you'd be okay." He said sleepily against Hotch's side.

"I'm fine buddy. Look I have a cut on my forehead like you." Hotch said, pointing to the cut.

"Cool." Was all the sleepy little boy said before he drifted off back to sleep.

…

It had been two months since Hotch had been released from the hospital; three weeks since he had returned to work on light duty. Emily had been staying with him three or four nights a week to help out with Jack.

Even though Hotch didn't like her staying in the guest room he didn't push her for anything she wasn't ready to give him. He could wait for that; that's not to say that they had been innocent either, but things had not progressed past the 'feeling each other up' stage yet. Hopefully that would change soon and if Hotch had anything to do about it tonight would be the turning point of their physical relationship.

Hotch came home after his therapy session instead of going back to the office. That was something he did often and he knew that Emily would think nothing of it. He called Jessica when he got home and had her pick Jack up from school; she had already planned on taking him for the weekend to see his grandparents. Everything was going according to plan; he had fixed dinner and had set the dining room table with his mother's fine China. Her favorite flowers, Lisianthus, better known as Texas Bluebell, adorned the center; candles were lit beside them and around the room, casting the room in a soft romantic glow.

Hotch had fixed for dinner; skewers of melon, Jamón (a cured Spanish ham), and mini mozzarella served with a dry Pinot Blanc, sweet dates wrapped in smoky bacon and asparagus spears grilled with pineapple. For dessert he fixed a raspberry tart drizzled with a spicy chocolate sauce and for later he had set up in his bedroom chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of champagne chilling on ice.

Everything was ready and he didn't have to wait long for Emily to get home, he liked that thought. His home being Emily's home had a nice ring to it.

Emily came in and found Hotch in the kitchen. He pulled her to him and kissed her tenderly before taking her hand and leading her to the dining room.

"What's all this?" She asked as she took in the sight before her. It truly was beautiful.

"This is a special dinner I prepared for you my dear. Now sit here and I will be back in a moment." He said as he scooted her chair out for her to sit.

Emily sat there in stunned silence. No one had ever made her dinner before, let alone a romantic dinner. She could get used to this side of Hotch.

Hotch came back in carrying two plates, setting one in front of her and one beside her for him. He filled her wine glass with the Pinot Blanc before he did the same with his. He leaned over the corner of the table and kissed her again.

"Enjoy sweetheart." He said as he watched her take in the food in front of her.

"Wow. Did you fix all this by yourself?" She asked smiling at him.

"Yes. But I will admit I did call Sean for tips on what to fix tonight." He stated as she took a bite of the dates wrapped in bacon.

"I didn't know you could cook this well. We never eat like this unless Jessica fixes dinner. Oh my god this is so good." She moaned, closing her eyes to revel in the flavors.

"Glad you like it." He smiled as he watched her enjoying her food.

They ate and enjoyed a pleasant conversation, just enjoying each other's company. When they finished dinner he told her to go take a shower. The thought of her under the spray of the shower was too much for him to take tonight. The image of what he had imagined her body to look like all wet made him harder than he knew was possible. He slipped quietly into the bathroom, stripping his clothes and stepping into the shower with her. Emily had her back to him, washing her face under the spray, so she didn't hear him. Hotch wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her back against him.

Emily let out a squeal as she felt him pull her toward him. She smiled to herself before turning in his arms to face him. He looked down at her, taking in the miles of creamy flesh before him. His imagination had not done her justice, no justice what so ever.

"You are so beautiful." He smiled at her before pulling her up against the hard length of his shaft. Groaning he bent his head to kiss take her lips with his.

She should have been shocked at the size of him against her but she wasn't, she was more fascinated right now at the feel of him and what he was doing to her with his mouth as it slid along the span of her neck.

She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. He turned her back around and then picked up the soap, lathering his hand before reaching around to begin washing her. Starting at the juncture of her neck he worked his hands slowly down her chest until he reached her breast; circling the heaviness of her globes before moving his hands to palm them, squeezing them gently. Rubbing the hardened tips between his thumbs and forefingers; pinching and twirling them before sliding his hands lower. His hands splayed across the tautness of her slender waist and then across the smoothness of her stomach, lower still to the tops of her thighs.

Hotch used his thigh to spread her legs apart slightly, holding her hip with one hand and moving the other to the curls covering her. The lather from the soap and the water combined to ease his way as he slid his fingers through the folds. Washing her gently; every crevice that hid her jewel beneath. He let the water rinse the suds from her; circling the nub tenderly, drawing a moan from her. He then grabbed the soap again and lathered his hands. Kneeling behind her he washed her legs lifting each one to wash her feet; trailing his hands up the back of her legs to the round, firm globes of her ass. Kneading as he washed her, letting his fingers trail along the crack before standing and turning her to let the water wash away the soap. He moved her head back under the spray, letting it wet her hair, pulling her forward out from under the spray he poured shampoo into the palm of his hand. He lathered her hair; using his fingernails to scrub her scalp gently and then rinsed and repeated with conditioner.

He quickly washed himself and turned off the water. Pulling two towels out of the cabinet, he dried her and then wrapped the towel around her. He used the other to dry her hair before he got one and dried himself, then wrapping it around his waist. Lifting her in his arms he carried her out of the guest bathroom and down the hall to his bedroom. Walking across the room he gently laid her on the bed before lighting the candles he had placed around the room.

Emily watched in awe at this romantic side of the man she loved. This was something she never expected from this man. Yes he was always loving with her… always, but this was something else altogether. This was a side no one she knew had ever seen before; and she was not about to complain about the change in him, but none of this was necessary. She already loved him and she didn't need him to do things like this. She knew he loved her, but it was nice to pampered. She watched as he walked back over to the bed, stopping beside it to drop his towel. Her eyes widened as she took him in. He was tall and lean; his muscles were toned and defined, not buff like Morgan but sexy all the same. His stomach was tight and she could see the hint of a six pack there. His legs were well defined, his muscles were toned and tight, the legs of a runner. Her eyes fell on his shaft, which was standing at full mast, saluting her and she smiled up at him before taking him in her hand.

Hotch groaned as her fingers wrapped around his length, his hips bucked involuntarily against her. His eyes closed as the pleasure rushed through him; he grabbed her hand and pulled it from him.

"No… I won't last long if you keep doing that. It's been too long for me Emily; the first time I cum tonight I want it to be while I am buried deep inside you." He growled gently as he removed the towel from around her.

Her blood seemed to boil at his words; she wanted him buried in her, she wanted him to make her scream his name as she came. She could feel her juices wetting her core, readying her for him.

Hotch climbed up to hover over her, lowering his lips to hers. His lips were like a match lighting the fire within her. She had never felt so alive, so wanted, so loved as she did at that moment. The gentleness he showed her was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. But she wanted to see him come undone; she wanted to see him lose that last thread of control he guarded so well. She wanted the gentle Aaron and the Aaron she knew that lay beneath the surface; the one that she could lose herself in. The one that could take her places, take her to heights she had never been. She wanted the wild Aaron to finally let himself be seen. She wanted to experience the rough side she knew he held close, guarded it like he was afraid to let her see that loss of control. Well tonight she would make him lose that control and she would revel in it.

Emily broke the kiss and flipped them over easily; much to Hotch's surprise. She straddled him, running her her hands up his stomach and over his chest; leaning down she kissed him with all the passion and love she felt for him. His hands ran down her back and took hold of her hips; rocking her gently along the length of him. Groaning into her mouth as he felt how wet she was. He felt his control slipping and he couldn't let that happen; he didn't want to scare her away.

She saw the trepidation in his eyes and knew that she had to tell him what she knew he needed to hear.

"Aaron, you won't hurt me or scare me. I won't run away, I told you I am tired of running. Nothing you do to me will hurt me or scare me… I'm not Haley, Aaron." She said as she watched her words sink in and the realization flash across his eyes.

She rocked her hips against him again as she sucked at his collar bone.

"Emily…" He moaned, feeling his control slip just a little more.

He wanted to let go, but years of reigning in that passion was hard to let go of. He had always had to control himself with Haley. He had loved her but she was selfish and controlling with what he was allowed to do in the bedroom. She had been the lights out, missionary style their whole marriage. Every time he wanted to try something different she would always shoot him down. He had been fine with it after a while, it had become a way of life and that was just how it was.

Now here he was with a woman that was telling him he could do whatever he wanted to with her. Here with a woman he loved deeper than he had ever loved anyone before. A woman he could lose himself in; who he wanted to lose himself in.

Hotch pushed her into a sitting position on him and raised himself up. Facing each other, he could see the want in her eyes, they mirrored his own. He lowered his head to run his lips along the curve of her neck; nipping and sucking, marking her.

"Aaron…" She cried out against his ear.

Hearing her moaning his name broke the control he was holding on to and he quickly flipped them over. He grabbed her legs and wrapped them high around his waist and bent his head, taking her puckered tip between his teeth, biting and nipping it over and over before sucking it into his mouth to relieve the pain from the roughness he was lavishing her breast with.

Emily reveled in this aggressive side of Hotch, she wanted to push him that last little bit until he took her with as much passion as she knew he wanted too.

"Aaron…please." She begged.

"What do you want Em?" He asked huskily as he continued to lavish her other breast with the same attention he had given the first.

"Please… I need you Aaron. I want to feel you take me. Take me the way I know you want too." Her voice was laced with the passion that was overtaking her body.

Hotch lined himself up with her core and he could feel the heat coming off her. He eased himself into her, stopping after just the tip was wrapped in her heat. The overwhelming urge to plow into her was overtaking the sensible side of his brain. He wanted to savor the feel of her but he could already tell she was tight and the whimpers' she was emitting was the driving force he needed. Her arousal was evident as he felt the rush of moisture enveloping him; her walls clamped around his head trying to pull him in deeper.

"Yes… Aaron, yes… please. Do it." She moaned as she looked up into his lust filled eyes.

He pushed himself into her up to the hilt before sliding back out slowly. Looking at the need in her eyes, he smiled and pushed back in harder. He stopped, reveling in the feel of her tight, wet heat wrapped around him.

"Aaron please… don't stop. Please Aaron, harder… take me hard and fast." She moaned as she moved her hips against his.

He let go of everything that was holding him back and took her the way they both wanted him to. Over and over again he thrust into her harder and faster with each thrust. Emily threw her head back, screaming his name as she came around him. The feel of her clamping down on him and her screaming his name was enough to pull him over the edge with her. Her name rolled off his lips in a growl as he came deep within the walls of her clenching heat.

Hotch was spent and he collapsed on top of her as she wrapped her arm around his neck, holding him to her.

"I love you Aaron." She said breathlessly in his ear.

"I love you more." He said as he leaned up and kissed her tenderly.

He rolled to the side and moved her to where she was laying in his chest.

"Emily, I have to ask you something." He said quietly.

"What is it Aaron, is something wrong?" She asked as she leaned up resting her chin in her hands.

"No nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask you… I want you to move in with me and Jack." He said as he pushed her hair back off her face.

She smiled at him not giving him an answer yet.

"What?" He asked.

"I was just waiting for you to ask." She stated as she leaned up and kissed him passionately.

The chocolate covered strawberries and champagne completely forgotten as he showed her new heights of his passion for her.

**A/N: I hope you liked the ending to this story. Please leave me a review to let me know what you think. Thank you to all that have read this, whether you have left a review or not, you are greatly appreciated.**


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